Obligatory disclaimer; Hopefully, anyone reading this can see that this is not meant to insult all couples, but rather a select (sadly not so) few. Something about some shoe fitting or what have you.

Last Saturday I was (through no fault of my own) introduced to an overly affectionate couple while standing in line to enter a club.

The line was quite scattered and bore more of a resemblance to a small gathering than an actual line, so I asked, partially to myself, and partially to anyone near me who wouldn’t mind a rhetorical question grazing their ear; “is this supposed to be the line or something?”

Either the guy or the girl, I can’t quite remember (not that it matters anyway because this was one of those couples that are only complete when together- it’s true, just separate them and try to find a whole brain in either one), made a comment.

“No, the line is over THERE I think”, pointing in some other direction.

Raising an eyebrow, I turned around jokingly, and both members of the couple proceeded to laugh loudly. The person who introduced me assured me that they were “just kidding around”.

Whether or not this display of pure idiocy was supposed to be meant as a joke that placed me at the butt of it, a sarcastic comment by a master of comedic timing or a display of solidarity between members of a future married couple (note the air-quotes I am making with my hands, mockingly) at the expense of an innocent bystander, it saddens me to admit that it got to me.

It got to me in the sense that it made me feel pity for the human race, knowing that mindless creatures like this still exist, and even worse, that they somehow find each other and produce offspring.

But then I remembered that the world can be a horrible place, and that maybe, just maybe, some murderer or rapist would randomly pick either or both of these two brain-dead idiots to perfect their craft on.

Dare to dream, friends, dare to dream.